hard week.

I ended this week sort of feeling like a bad mom. Now, let me start this post by saying, I am aware that I am not ACTUALLY a bad mom. But if you just finished the week I finished, you might feel the same exact way as I do.

In fact, if you’re a mamma, you’ve DEFINITELY felt this way at times. Probably a lot of times.

My kids gave me a run for my money this week. I am not sure what is going on. I thought they were getting sick, THAT’S how weird they were acting. Just acting out, disobedient, fighting, crying, hitting, talking back- you name it. It left ME crying a lot this week, if I’m being honest here. When all was said and done, and when they DIDN’T get sick, I pretty much summed up the week as this: I HAVE A TWO YEAR OLD AND A FOUR YEAR OLD.

Enough said, yes? YES, WE ALL AGREE.

So it was a hard and exhausting week. Being a mom is not easy. Being a GOOD mom is even harder. And I could write a sappy post about how all the hard work, blood, sweat and tears is all worth it because my kids are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And it would be true. But I’m not going to say that here, in this post. Because while it IS true, it is totally ok to get through the week, to look back and to say THAT SUCKED.

THAT. SUCKED.

And while last week was one of the hardest that I’ve had as a mamma, I do know that even though it sucked and doesn’t seem worth it right now, IT WILL BE. So, I try to be grateful for weeks like the one I just had as a mom. It wasn’t easy, but anything worth doing isn’t easy. It would be easy for me to give in to their every want, need, fit, and tantrum. It would be easy to just allow them to form bad habits. But in being consistent, firm and disciplining them, we are hoping and praying that those two little boys will grow up to be amazing men someday. Not a day goes by that I don’t pray for that for them.

Never have I been at the feet of Jesus more than I am in my role as a mother. And although weeks like this past one are discouraging, it also encourages me to press on. Because forming their little minds, characters and hearts isn’t something that can be done overnight. It takes a lot of time, and a lot of intention. As well as a decent amount of tears and frustration. But it’s ok. It IS worth it. They are worth it.

If you’re a mamma who’s had a similar week to mine, take heart. If it’s hard. it’s probably because you’re doing something right (even though it might not feel like it!). Next week will be better and if it’s not, know you’re not alone. And then call me and we’ll go out for an evening to escape the madness.

Seriously.

* All photos here taken on my iPhone this week for my Instagram. You can follow me there as well at @stellardayblog.Β 

6 thoughts on “hard week.

  1. Jessica, I cannot even tell you how much I can relate to your ENTIRE WEEK!!!
    I actually spent time last night trying to regroup, thinking the same things “am i doing something wrong?, am I missing something?”….Thank you for posting this, I definitely needed to hear and see that I am not alone πŸ™‚ And, if it is any kind of comfort, you arent either πŸ™‚

  2. thank you so much for sharing this! i often tell myself the same- it is hard and sometimes things just plain suck! and although my circumstances are a bit different dealing with special needs, i go through many of the same struggles, internal doubts, and realizations as other moms do. and believe me, claire still acts like a typical preschooler in many ways πŸ˜‰ also, jess- it is so refreshing to read posts that are so real, honest, and reflect the bigger picture of motherhood! thank you.

  3. You said it. That. Sucked. I just walked through the house chanting “love him more, the more he acts out, love him more, the more he acts out, love him more…” because he ALMOST got sent to another family. It’s the hardest job for sure and being a working mama who also stays at home – you constantly think “daycare would be better for him than this!” but ultimately, everything you’re doing is right.

    It’s funny that a couple weeks ago many people were asking us if we planned on a third. I was up in the air, Pat was a firm “no” and I can’t say that I’m a firm anything – but the two weeks that followed were AWFUL. I looked up to the sky and shouted “I GET IT!! OK!! I GET IT!!” (i.e. God telling me we’re not meant to have a third)

    At the feet of Jesus… it’s a great place to be!

  4. Hang in there girl. You are doing great. We have all been there. Not only have I been there with one….I am well on my way to being there with two! When my day comes and I have my 2 and 4 year old pulling at me while I am climbing the walls, I will look back on this post and realize I am not alone, and neither are you my friend, neither are you!!!!!

  5. Must be something in the air, my two little ones have had a rough couple of days too…still trying to figure out what the heck is going on with them…I know it will soon pass and be easily forgotten so I try to stay calm and take things as they come.

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