This kid starts preschool on Tuesday. And all I can keep thinking about is ‘Wow. That happened SO fast.’
He’s going to be FOUR in a couple of months. And on Tuesday, he will be leaving in the morning and heading to his first preschool class ever. And I’m totally being dramatic about it. Truthfully, I AM REALLY excited about this being his first day. It feels like his first life adventure is about it happen to him. And he is. so. excited. The kid can’t talk about anything without school coming up. So I am so VERY excited for him to be able to experience new things apart from me a couple of days a week. He is so ready. It will provide so much growth for him. But as a mamma, I am also sad. I am astonished at how fast these past four years have gone. And while I DO know that I still have MANY years ahead of me with him still, I’m afraid those years are going to go even faster.
And I am not ready.
Although the days are long over at my house, I do realize that the years are short. We don’t have very long with our kids at home. He is so little still with an entire world left to learn about. But he’s not a baby anymore. He is becoming a big kid faster than I ever thought possible. I am sleep deprived. My house isn’t always clean. I don’t always cook. Sometimes I work too much. And sometimes I honestly think about what life would be life if I wasn’t a stay at home mom. Because it is HARD. The hardest thing I have ever done. But I wouldn’t trade in one second of it for anything. It’s going too fast. And I am beyond grateful that I get to be home to watch him grow up. That I get to be his mamma and take him to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays starting next week. That he gets to come home with ME and share about all the things he’s learning.
It’s a bittersweet chapter we are embarking on. And although it’s only a couple of days a week, for a few hours a day, it feels somehow huge. A milestone, sort of. My little baby isn’t one anymore. And I dare not blink again because he’ll be heading out that front door and leaving for college. Raising kids is hard. Being a mom isn’t always fun (even though sometimes it is!!). But it’s moments like these that I’m reminded about how much I DO love it. I am so excited for him. But ready for the clock to slow down a little bit, please.
I’m afraid I won’t get my wish. So I’ll do my best to focus, get in the game that is his life, and be present. Because before I know it, he’ll be all grown up. And I don’t want to miss a single minute.