this is not a rant.

I had every intention of blogging today to COMPLAIN. To just be a woman for a second and to complain about what bothers me about this scenario in my life. What’s the scenario? It’s a LOT to explain. The short story? I have major back problems and now I have finally agreed to use my diet to help continue to correct the problem. I’ve been going to a chiropractor for almost a year and she’s been encouraging me to do certain things to my diet to help. MY CHIROPRACTOR IS AMAZING. She’s the best one out there and I would argue with you otherwise. She is incredible and her whole staff has helped me and my back SO much. But now I have to take the next step in the healing process and I have been in TOTAL DENIAL that it might actually work and stubborn as all get out.

Well, I FINALLY agreed to relinquish control over the situation and to allow my diet to finish the healing. And I’m sorta pissed about it. Why?

Because I want to be able to eat whatever I want, have it not affect me, and to be super skinny while eating Big Macs and milkshakes. Ok not really. But you get what I’m saying.

I am SO TIRED of food being a struggle for me. I am SO tired of having to really count the calories, watch the scale and not be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I don’t want to HAVE to work out. Why did some people get good genes and can eat anything and never work out?

I AM SO TIRED.

So while I was working out tonight, I was writing this post in my head and preparing myself for the rant of all rants. One in which I was going to straight up complain for quite awhile about how frustrated I am with all the above thoughts I just blabbed. But in much more detail.

And I was quietly and gently reminded, in my heart, that things in my life really aren’t THAT bad. Not bad enough to warrant an entire negative blog post. Yes, I struggle with food and my weight and working out and staying healthy. Yes, I’ve struggled with eating disorders in my past. Yes, I am FRUSTRATED with it all. But I was reminded that we ALL have ‘stuff’ that we wish wasn’t a part of our lives. We all have things that we struggle with and that aren’t totally going to go away. And I know plenty of people who have struggled with far worse that I am dealing with. And while it’s still frustrating and a massive struggle for me, I WILL keep focused on the positive.

I have two little boys who are amazing. I have an amazing husband. I have TWO thriving businesses. I have a home, family, friends and an amazing church. The list could go ON. I have so many more things to focus on instead of getting down and frustrated about my diet. And I will be thankful and we ARE finding some answers for the pains in my back and that changing my diet is working.

It could always be so much worse. It’s always sorta like a slap in the face to be reminded that we need to focus on the positive and not get too down on the frustrating struggles in life. Because the struggles of this life that we endure are NOT what make up this life. So why should we waste our time focusing so much on the things that bring us down?

Be thankful today. Turn your thoughts from negative to positive ones. And turn that struggle into a beautiful journey that will inspire others for generations to come.

Stellar Day, Inspiration

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3 thoughts on “this is not a rant.

  1. Ahh, I am so glad you wrote this! It is such a struggle! I am so happy for you that your diet changes are working though!! It will be so worth it. Only a few more days and you’re going to feel amazing! You are such a blessing to me to have a friend to do this with!

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