Something I’m really learning right now and REALLY focusing on, is how to be present more with my kids. For so long, I found myself being semi-present. Mostly, that means I was just focusing on what needed to get done, playing a little with them, being with them, and praying for nap time to come quickly so I could have my ‘ME’ time. But now, I find a shift happening in my day and in my overall attitude.
I’m not sure why, or what changed. But it is.
I find that as my boys are getting bigger, they’re just needing us more. And then NEED me to be plugged in 100%. They’re starting to do activities where I sit on the sidelines and watch. And they’re facing fears and challenges that they’ve never had to before.
We’ve been doing swim lessons for a couple of weeks now, and I’ve watched both of the boys go from timid, scared, screaming, with high anxiety to relaxed, and LOVING being in the water. I’m so grateful because swimming is SO fun when you know how and when you’re safe around the water.
But Rider has had a little bit of a harder time. He did great the first day! And then he got a feel more for what the classes are all about and isn’t so much a fan. But it’s led to some really great (and short haha) conversations with him about being afraid, trust, water safety, and learning. I’m really grateful that I’ve taken the time to really be in the moment with him while he’s in the water. I love giving him a thumbs up from the sidelines. And I love knowing what’s going on in his little heart. And while I don’t want him to ever be afraid, I’m glad I can see what makes him so hesitant.
I’m just glad that I’m PRESENT.
I read THIS article today and shared it on my Facebook page. Because it sorta echoed what I have been feeling in some respect, but also affirmed that I am doing exactly what I need to be doing and right where God wants me. The truth is, motherhood IS lonely at times. And I have awesome friends and we DO all give each other grace. I feel so blessed. So I don’t feel lonely in that aspect. If something awful happened or if I needed something, I have people who would be there. And I’d be there for them in a heartbeat. But the day to day CAN be lonely. It’s SO easy to check out and stay connected to our social media outlets. And it isn’t always easy to make your kids a huge priority and to give up your social calendar a lot of the time.
It’s not easy. It’s not always what I WANT to be doing at every single given moment.
But I can tell you that it’s worth it. And no matter what I think or want, it matters deeply to THEM. And it’s going to make a difference in their little lives. That’s what I keep reminding myself of each and every day right now.
It’s truly where I’m at. Living with intention. Telling Satan not to distract me with impending lonliness from lack of friendships, which I know isn’t the truth anyways. Focusing on my three littles that God has so graciously blessed me with and doing the best I can.
I make a LOT of mistakes. But I’m just trying to do the best that I can.
Aren’t we all?
Photos from my Instagram. Follow me there at @stellardayblog.